“I Don’t Think Anyone Wants You to Be Here.”
Welcome to The Podcast That Must Not Be Named’s Quibbler! The Quibbler focuses on topics discussed in the most recent episode of the show, which this week was 4-20R– Five Chap Recap.
Well, as is often the case with these posts, I’d like to focus on Lorelei and how utterly hilarious she is. Pretty much everything she said was golden and if you have ever wanted to rant about how ridiculous Harry is, please tune into this episode. Lorelei takes care of it.
Basically, Lorelei is pretty disappointed that Harry ends up the fourth champion – for a few reasons.
1) He’s stealing the glory from Cedric.
2) Why couldn’t he just have a normal year?
3) He makes it four champions and this is NOT the Quadwizard Tournament!
Lorelei makes the point that Harry could have just been chosen like a normal champion. If he had, there would have been three champions, like usual, and he wouldn’t have taken all the glory away from Cedric. Then it still would have been an exciting story about Harry, but it didn’t have to be ALL about him. This also would also potentially remove the source of conflict between Harry and Ron, if they were both able to enter legitimately and Harry was just chosen over Ron (though this could still lead to some sore feelings).
Basically, Lorelei would rewrite this book.
Of course, we know that having Harry be the super special fourth champion does make sense, from a narrative standpoint. It creates drama between Harry and pretty much everyone else. It is the somewhat inexplicable motivation behind a certain character’s appearance at Hogwarts (which I plan to talk about when we get that reveal, because what the heck kind of plan is this?).
If only Harry had been chosen like a normal champion, or better yet, not chosen at all and had a normal year of watching the other champions risk their lives! Alas, Harry is much too special for a year like that and it does make for a very compelling story. But do you agree with Lorelei, that Harry ruins everything?
Also, here’s some extra Lorelei thoughts on the chapters.
How would Lorelei handle the dragon challenge?
She’d turn the dragon into something non-threatening, like a teddy bear, or she’d make a deal with it.
I would bring a pig with me and I’d be like, ‘Hey, we cool? Here’s a pig. Be cool with me. I just need to hold your egg.’
Who was Lorelei’s section MVP?
I love that Cedric is a Hufflepuff and that he’s going for it. He was so cool that Harry was there. He was like, ‘Stuff happened, man! This is fine, we’re cool. I’m a Hufflepuff and we’re so nice and kind.’
Did Lorelei find it logical that everyone had to be shown the dragons? Short answer: no.
It’d be so easy to find it. You can hear the dragons. Follow the fiery sounds of dragons! Not like you hear that every day.
What should Moody have said to Harry, according to Lorelei?
I know you don’t want to be here. I don’t think anyone wants you to be here. But I’ll help you. I got you. Dumbledore forced me to be here.
Should Bagman have helped Harry?
Why are you helping him? He’s not special!
Basically, Lorelei thinks Harry ruins everything, and I’m inclined to agree.
WE’RE KIND!
Until next time, stay imaginary.